John Candy is concerned what ‘butt time’ is

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Winning a bobsled race is about one thing: the lousy $20-grand so I can get us to the Olympics.

Lets face it, Disney has a way of polishing boring, mundane stories into heartwarming gems. And it’s my goal to take a little 40-grit sandpaper to this gem. As a tribute to the late John Candy, may I introduce, “Cool Runnings Destroyed,” the full version of which you may enjoy here:


Hard hitting issues in this video include:

  • Getting a lousy $20,000 to get to the Olympics.
  • What to do when you wake up in the middle of the night, and find four dudes in your hotel room just staring at you.
  • Webster, Webster, Webster, Webster, and Cohen
  • And the real, unedited footage of the Jamaican bobsled team’s famous race.